I had placed the willow drum frame on my altar after doing the initial sanding. I then connected with willow several different ways. I connected with willow when I found a stump that was sprouting nice shoots out when I got a little “lost” driving around. I then went back later to collect some of these shoots for a later project in creating a willow basket.
I watched a mountain lion documentary and the main mountain lion that they followed was named Willow. I even was gifted the elk skull that willow killed to feed her 6 (!!) cubs.
Willow showed up in my dreamtime by connecting me back to the place where I had gathered Willow. Maya, my dog, was in this dream and I was connecting with my first boyfriend’s mom. Where I had gathered willow was on the road that they lived on.
I then started to plan a community Beltane ritual, which I thought would be with hawthorn, but then as I felt into it, Willow wanted to be the tree of focus. All very special.
Willow speaks to me about cycles of life, of the moon, of birth and death, of motherhood, of protection, of the natural rhythms of life—how death isn’t the end, it’s just the beginning of a new cycle. Willow speaks to me of holding space, of women’s wisdom, of the fluid connection to life. Willow also feels connected to water since it grows by water. There is also connection to fire in its ever growing and resilient qualities, how even when willow is cut down, it continues to grow and sprout new life. There is also a bendability with willow, how one is stronger when one bends, rather than being rigid and breaking easily. Of course, willow to me also connects with weaving threads of new life after death (being cut down to weave something new and different). Willow also speaks to versatility—how there can be so many things made from willow—baby bassinets, sculptures, fences, baskets, coffins, bowls… really whatever you can think of!
The other part of the drum was a female elk hide, hunted by a woman in the community. I connected with Elk when my sister and her husband came over and shared some elk steaks with us that my brother-in-law had hunted this last season.
I look back to one of the paintings I did a while back, Dissolve into Everything, where a woman in a red dress was riding a horned animal into the sky towards the moon. I thought it was a reindeer, but maybe it’s also an elk.
Elk to me speaks to connecting with feminine wisdom, with your kin, with community of women. To me it speaks to stamina, persistence, to deep nourishment and sustenance, to being the appropriate amounts of toughness and strength. Elk speaks to this regal centeredness, elk feels almost Royal in nature. Elk also is very connected in with community. I never just see one elk, usually it’s a herd of elk that I see. There is also a wildness that I sense from Elk, for I usually see Elk in the wild, in beautiful places, not very close to civilization.
I chose to craft this drum on a weekend when I knew Ben and Maya would be out for the day, because I was working with raw hide and we give Maya raw hide treats occasionally. She’s pretty sure this completed drum is just a very fancy treat for her. Ha!
I had gathered all the supplies to me to make this drum, which included a pink bucket and retrieving a table that I loaned to a friend for a hunting trip he took. I took the elk hide out of the freezer two days before planning to craft the drum so it could thaw in the bucket with water in it.
I awoke the morning of the drum crafting day and after making a nourishing and hearty breakfast, I set up my work station. I then sanded the willow drum frame with a fine sand paper to make the drum frame really smooth and soft. I looked up the instructions for this project once more, though I had a pretty good idea about what I wanted to do, to just ease my mind a bit.
And then I started. The elk hide was a little stinky and it took just a little courage and a deep breath to dunk my hands into the water and pull out the water soaked hide. I placed it on the table and moved it several times, just getting to know the hide. I noticed my mind was really concerned about getting it right, about finding where the spine was and putting the drum right there. But I couldn’t tell with my mind where it was. So instead I felt the hide with my heart, I opened my senses and felt where I wanted to place the drum. I measured it out and cut it.
I then cut out two pieces for the rattle I wanted to make. My mind didn’t know if I would have enough hide to make both, but my senses told me I had enough and to move forward with my rattle pattern. So I cut out these.
And then I needed to cut out ½ inch cord from the raw hide to eventually string my drum. This was a tedious and difficult process. I was frustrated and had difficulties with dull scissors, my mind often times couldn’t make sense of just how to cut one continuous length of rawhide, but every time my mind couldn’t figure it out I knew that I just needed to keep moving forward and I would know what to do once I got there. I was able to cut an extremely long piece. Even though my back hurt at times when I was trying really hard, I would bend my knees, relax my body and mind, finding a more comfortable way to go about what I was doing. It was a constant process of trying hard, and then letting go, tensing up and then releasing, trying to plan out my next step to only release into the moment and to my senses.
I took a break then came back to it. I punched holes into the hide, needed to trim up the ½ inch threading to actually be about ½ an inch, and then punch larger holes into the drum as I threaded along the 16 holes. After I threaded everything I didn’t know if the drum would be tight enough. I pulled the pieces as taught as possible, and relaxed into the listening and the feeling of the drum a bit more. Letting go of my fears of “doing it right” to simply be doing it, feeling as I go.
And finally I had to let go of the clean neat and tidy ways of doing this. By letting go of all of this, I was able to use my full body strength and movement to complete the drum. I was so busy focusing on the back side that I didn’t look at the front of the drum until I was nearly complete. As soon as I saw her I thought of the moon, she even had textures of the moon. I was taken aback by it, it’s beauty, it’s texture, it’s aliveness.
I hung it up in my shed to dry safely away from Maya and from the elements. I cleaned up, gladly showered and gratefully ate some leftover pasta from dinner the night before, so grateful to not have to then make dinner.
Every day I’ve gone out to feel her, hear her, touch her and witness her progress in drying. I feel proud of this drum, of the work that I did and the ways in which my community, seen and unseen, came together to support me in this process. It definitely felt like a community project, for I could not have done this without my community.
Name of this art piece: Moon Rhythms
To gain greater insight into this process for myself, I then crafted some questions and answered them. This process of asking myself questions and answering them is one that I do with all my students and clients, and that I do with myself in my many projects. It’s a way that I make greater connection to my consciousness and the energies I worked with during this artistic process. It’s a way that I support my clients and students with going deeper into themselves, seeking the deeper wisdom and insights held within the experience.
What symbols arose for you during the crafting of Moon Rhythms and what do they mean for you, as an Embodied Shaman?
Willow speaks to me about cycles of life, of the moon, of birth and death, of motherhood, of protection, of the natural rhythms of life—how death isn’t the end, it’s just the beginning of a new cycle. Willow speaks to me of holding space, of women’s wisdom, of the fluid connection to life. Willow also feels connected to water since it grows by water. There is also connection to fire in its ever growing and resilient qualities, how even when willow is cut down, it continues to grow and sprout new life. There is also a bendability with willow, how one is stronger when one bends, rather than being rigid and breaking easily. Of course, willow to me also connects with weaving threads of new life after death (being cut down to weave something new and different). Willow also speaks to versatility—how there can be so many things made from willow—baby bassinets, sculptures, fences, baskets, coffins, bowls… really whatever you can think of!
Elk to me speaks to connecting with feminine wisdom, with your kin, with community of women. To me it speaks to stamina, persistence, to deep nourishment and sustenance, to being the appropriate amounts of toughness and strength. Elk speaks to this regal centeredness, elk feels almost Royal in nature. Elk also is very connected in with community. I never just see one elk, usually it’s a herd of elk that I see. There is also a wildness that I sense from Elk, for I usually see Elk in the wild, in beautiful places, not very close to civilization.
So for me, as an embodied Shaman, I am Willow in all of her facets—I work with cycles of life and death, I work with women. I work with being bendable so as to not be breakable. And as a Shaman, I support others in being bendable, so as to bot be breakable. I work with communities, with women. I am a woman and I work with feminine mysteries. As an embodied Shaman, I support others crossing over to change. As an embodied Shaman I move from my Natural Essence, my Soul Essence, allowing others to attune to their Natural Original Essence. From life to death, from civilization to wildness, from ego to essence.
What wisdom is available in the difficulties that arose when crafting Moon Rhythms, specifically in how that informs you as an embodied Shaman? The challenges that arose centered particularly around creating the threading of the back of the drum. As I was reflecting on this I looked at many art pieces of mine that have different aspects of threading associated and connected with them. I often did not create the threading for these pieces, yet used them. The creating of thread reminds me of the experience of spinning wool into yarn and how difficult that was for me also. It required attention and a loosening of my mind, even moving beyond my mind perceptions of what I’m capable of and what I’m not capable of. The experience of creating this elk hide threading speaks to the experience of moving beyond the confines of the mind into my body, into my senses, into the Web of Life and using my mind to support these senses in moving me in the direction that I am moving towards. For example, I know how to use scissors and was able to use this knowledge to support me in cutting the threading, even though when I tried to plan ahead about how I would do this, I immediately got confused and tense. So I was constantly invited, again and again, to be in my body, to follow my senses, and to just take it one step at a time, because even the second step was a little too confusing at times. This speaks to the importance of being connected into and communicating with all my senses rather than just from the mind. It speaks to, as a shaman, working with the wisdom of my senses and allowing my mind to support my direction of where my senses are leading me, without my mind taking the lead. It also speaks to the wisdom of having a destination, which supported me in working through the challenges to get to where I wanted to go, which in this case was having a completed drum!
What other experiences in crafting Moon Rhythms arose and how do they inform you about yourself, as an embodied Shaman?
When I first reflected on what I wanted to craft as my Main Art Project for the Shaman Embodiment the drum came so quickly, and then came the rattle. I could feel so clearly within me that this is what I would craft. Though my mind wasn’t quite sure about “how” I would gather everything to me, I had this clear feeling within me that everything I needed would be provided. The experience of gathering the elk hide to me was an informative experience of listening to my senses and connecting with community, the larger Web of Life to gather this part of the piece to me. It speaks to the phrase “what you are seeking is also seeking you”. This informs me as an embodied shaman, that when I am moving from this place of creation and creativity, I am fully aware of my connection and part of the Web of Life and that deeply supports me. I was offered to connect with someone who had been making drums for over 40 years, and had a very clear strong No to this. This speaks to one of the ways I gain insight is through learning on my own and gaining my own insights with a project. It speaks to my connection and desire to work with my own inner wisdom and the Web of Life communications. There was a general felt sense of ease and wonder in gathering all the pieces to me. I have such fun gathering supplies to me. This speaks to the ease and wonder of gathering pieces and information to me as a Shaman, and how important the preparation phase of any project, Rite of Passage, art piece, creation is. My experience in gathering the supplies to me over the course of several months reminds me again that when I give myself ample time to prepare myself, my supplies, my energies, things tend to move much more smoothly in the threshold process, in the actual creating piece of the creative process. Because for me, the creative process is so much more than simply crafting. I spend lots of time and energy gathering, journeying, thinking, feeling, reaching out, coming back in because I begin “the real work” of bringing the vision to being. The length from dreaming this drum Moon Rhythms into being until the completion of the piece speaks to the gentle power in slowly moving towards a project or a goal or dream, a little bit every week/every day until it is done. Spreading things out supports the natural flow of creation.
